Am I too high-value or too high-comfort?

by | Aug 26, 2020 | Uncategorized

Both value and comfort are GOOD things, so there is no such thing as too much of either. The issue comes from ratio.

If in doubt, err on the side of value. It’s much easier to build more comfort than it is to build more value. 

Value is “I am amazing.” Comfort is “I am willing to spend time with you and care about you.”

It’s a lot easier to show a willingness and be convincing than changing someone’s perception of who you are. A girl is attracted to a guy who she thinks is out of her league. She just won’t think that the guy will stick around. All the guy needs to do to convince her is to put in time. If a guy starts out by bending over backward for a girl, it’s not very easy for him to convince the girl that he’s special. Putting in more time gives him more comfort and less value. 

There’s no such thing as too much value. There’s also no such thing as too much comfort.

There is, however, a bad ratio between value and comfort.

The girl’s experiencing you as she meets you.  If she meets you in the first minute and she gets ten “value” and no “comfort”, she has to assume that over the course of your relationship, it’s going to be a million “values” and no “comfort.” 

The fact that you showed 10 little bumps of value is a good thing, but in order for her to stay around and trust you, you need to have shown those 10 bumps of value with 2 or 3 bumps of comfort so that she thinks you’re a real person and not just fucking with her. By doing that, it allows you to get to 20, 30, 40, 50 bumps of value.

The idea is to get to infinite value and infinite comfort.

If the ratio gets out of whack, she either gets really bored by you or doesn’t trust you, so monitor the ratio.

The default should be to be high value while still being human.

As you’re building value and moving the interaction forward, look for discomfort and resistance. Once you start to notice such things, that’s when you back off on the value and build more comfort. If a girl goes from being chill to giving shit-tests, that’s when you need to build more value.

You should also assess the girl as you get to know her. If the girl is very conservative, adjust your ratio towards more comfort. If the girl is an extreme party girl, adjust your ratio towards more value. From your default, which is a little bit value-centric, you want to be paying attention to the girl and adjusting based on those factors.