“How do I get a girl to like me?”
Guys ask me this question all the time.
But before we dive into the subject of getting a girl to like you, let’s start with the brutal truth.
If you’re spending a ton of time wondering how to get girls to simply “like” you, you’re probably focusing on the wrong thing.
Because if a girl only likes you, she’ll be polite to you. Maybe she’ll be nice to you and put you in the friend zone. But she will not sleep with you.
And if she doesn’t sleep with you, or even see you as a potential sexual prospect, you’ll never have a chance at anything even resembling a relationship with her.
So, are you sure you want to be liked?
Who Girls Sleep With
Girls don’t sleep with guys they like.
They sleep with guys they crave.
You want her to be intensely attracted to you.
The reality for attractive women is that they have a lot of choices. They’re not dreaming about average guys, just like you’re not dreaming about the 5s and 6s. The more attractive a girl is, the more she knows that she can do better.
So, stop wondering how to get your crush to like you, and read on to learn 8 strategies you can use right now to get the girl you want to be OBSESSED with you.
1. Stop Being Average
What are the traits of an “average” guy and why don’t women want to sleep with them?
Average guys are generally too nice, and they do finish last.
To push this further, nice guys are fake and disingenuous. They are anything but nice.
Nice guys ended up being nice because they don’t have what it takes to not be nice. They’ve gotten negative social reactions in the past from not being nice, and they can’t deal with the blowback. Reality is too harsh for them, so they resort to niceness to not step on other people’s toes and protect their egos.
When you’re nice, girls see you as a spineless man who is too afraid to be polarizing, say what you really think, or take risks. You become a doormat and give women the ability to take advantage of you.
What’s worse is that women can spot a fake nice guy from miles away. They can see straight through the nice guy facade, and it sickens them.
A lot of nice guys think that being in the friendzone is alright because they think they still have a chance. This is counterproductive and a complete waste of time. Since girls don’t sleep with guys who are just “friends”, being in the friendzone isn’t going to get you any closer to having sex with her.
Most guys are nice. They don’t have the balls to be polarizing. This is why women don’t give them a chance. These types of men are far too common and don’t provide much value.
Women want something different. They crave a ballsy, unique, high-value guy that can spark their emotions and make them feel things.
They want a man who’s not insincere about his intentions. They want a man who is not ashamed to say what he wants and go after what he wants, even if it means he won’t get what he wants sometimes.
The actions a man takes to make a girl like him are completely opposite to the actions a man takes to make her deeply attracted to him.
To make a woman strongly desire you, you must risk losing her. You have to be polarizing, say what’s on your mind, and take risks.
If you continue to play it safe, it will be very difficult to create tension, and you will join the rest of the boring guys she doesn’t want romantically.
2. Take Risks
Women madly love men who take risks. They want men who are resilient, strong, and decisive. They want leaders. Not only are these the traits of alpha males, but these traits make women feel a deep sense of attraction.
However, you also need to realize that these traits can potentially make a woman hate you.
A man who takes risks exposes himself to physical and emotional danger. When it comes to romantic interactions, taking risks leaves a man open to rejection or criticism.
A girl might be sensitive and the man will disagree on the wrong topic, causing the girl to have a visceral reaction and walk away. What’s important is that this man was able to speak what was on his mind. In the long run, this will lead to a lot more powerful conversations and connections in the man’s favor.
The same actions and behaviors that might lead to a girl hating you can also spark an uncontrollable attraction towards you, and she’ll end up loving you, head over heels obsessed with you, and waking up next to you after a hot steamy night together.
The fact that you take risks tells her that you’ve gotten good social feedback out of those actions in the past, and even if you’ve gotten rejection it says that you are strong enough to handle it.
If you’re a guy with a track record of being too nice, start telling her no. Disagree with her. Don’t start fights for no reason, and don’t be emotionally reactive. But do say what’s on your mind, and don’t be afraid to be polarizing.
If she says mint chocolate chip is the best ice cream flavor in the world, and you disagree, go tell her.
Tell her that it tastes like toothpaste with chocolate drizzles. Express your disgust.
Don’t be too concerned that she will lose interest if you disagree with her. If it happens, it happens. But when the right girl comes along, she will appreciate your boldness. Some might even change their original opinion and say mint chocolate chip isn’t all that bad. When she sees your value, she’ll qualify herself for you.
Women are more validation-sensitive than we are. When you become her ultimate source of validation, you have her.
3. Play, Tease, and Repeat
By nature, teasing can be offensive.
If you tease a woman you like, you whack her, mock her, and somehow make her feel vulnerable.
And here’s a secret that you should know.
Women enjoy it, and if done correctly, it can make them fall in love with you instantly.
When teasing a woman, the goal isn’t to offend but to have an emotional conversation.
Saying her nose is ugly is not a tease. That’s an insult.
Making fun of her wacky rainbow dress is a tease. If done well, she’ll appreciate how you’re not putting her on a pedestal, and she might feel like she has to prove herself to you.
She might even tease you back, and if you’re not emotionally reactive, she’ll find that very attractive.
Teasing is a great entryway for flirting and can take a conversation from platonic to man-to-woman.
4. Don’t Give Her All Of Your Attention
If you give a girl all of your attention, be prepared for her to take it for granted.
As the quote says, “Falling in love is not something someone does to you. It’s something you do to yourself when they are not around”, there has to be some space, distance, and even absence.
No high-value man has the time or luxury to give 100% of his time to a girl. He’s way too busy and has other priorities.
Most men will go about their day, working hard, and when a girl texts them, they stop everything they’re doing to reply. Over time, she’ll notice how available you make yourself to her, and this will make you unattractive.
As much as girls say they want to be a guy’s number one priority, the reality is that she wishes she could be a guy’s number one priority. This is because her dream guy will not put her first. He is busy with other important things going on in his life. For him to stop whatever he is doing for her probably means that whatever he is doing is not that important or that he’s willing to let a girl influence the important tasks of his daily life.
Don’t take this advice as a way for you to meticulously track how much time you give a girl. Don’t be gimmicky and wait exactly 1 hour before every text you send.
Have a life and respect yourself. The more you focus on being the best possible guy for her, the more you will naturally ration your attention and not give it all away.
5. Be a Leader
Thousands of years ago, humans lived in harsh conditions, and only the strong and resilient ones survived.
Resilient men could handle the stresses of life, and these men were desired by women who also wanted offspring that could tough out the realities of life.
Generally, the leader of the tribe was the strongest, most resilient, and the best hunter. And if he didn’t have any of those three traits, he knew how to command a group of men who did have that trait, making up for his inadequacy.
For a woman to mate with the leader of the tribe meant that her offspring had a high chance of success. The leader of a tribe knew how to acquire food and shelter and lead other men to follow his plan.
A woman’s mating decisions have not changed since the tribal times. Her desire for a strong leader still drives her mate selection today.
When you’re in an interaction with a woman, make sure you lead. Lead the conversation. Lead how you flirt with her. Lead where you guys will go next. You must lead without hesitation. The better you are, the higher your chances are of sleeping with her.
If you want girls who stand out, like the 9s and the 10s, you have to stand out yourself.
6. Have Better Conversations
You now know that you have to take risks, be strong and resilient, and lead the interaction. Next, you have to be a good conversationalist, a person women can’t resist.
Compared to men, women tend to talk more. They place more value on conversations than we do.
While men converse to accomplish things, women talk because they want to create emotional connections.
And this is something that you can take advantage of.
To escalate your interactions with women, the key is to make the conversation more intimate and sexual. For instance, you can talk about sexually charged topics:
- Crazy Experiences
- Risk-taking Activities
Anything that puts the girl in a playful, naughty, and adventurous mood works.
The Questions Game
A fast way to steer any conversation into sexy or risque topics is with the Questions Game. You ask her a question, and she has to answer it honestly. Then it’s your turn. She asks you a question, and you have to answer it honestly.
For example, you can ask her:
- Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
- How old were you when you had your first drink/kiss?
- What is the most trouble you got into in high school?
- What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the past year?
Basically, anything slightly naughty but not sexually explicit works.
The best part is that you will get her talking about inappropriate topics. And if she’s enjoying the interaction, she’ll ask you more intimate and sexual questions.
Every time this happens, you’ll have the opportunity to take it a step further, and gradually you’ll be explicitly talking about sex.
Once the girl starts talking about sex, then it will be a lot easier to escalate the interaction in all the other ways (moving to an intimate venue, getting physical, and using “we” to talk about you and her).
Using quotes from other people is a simple and risk-free way to discuss sexy topics. You’re distancing yourself from the topic while keeping it in the conversation.
You can say that you read a study that said frequent travelers are more open-minded when it comes to casual relationships than people who don’t travel.
It’s simple, easy, and safe, and it can bring some naughtiness/playfulness into the conversation. And if she is offended, it is not your fault; you simply read something from someone else.
7. Understand How She Rates You
Women rate you just like you rate them. But unlike guys who only care about physical appearance, they take into account many other things – your behavior, body language, social feedback, and status in society.
This brings me to one of the most important concepts when it comes to game. A concept I call leveling.
When she’s leveling you, she’s assessing how you speak and act.
But here’s the tricky part…
Girls don’t necessarily want the highest value guy, because if he’s too out of her league then she knows he’ll never stick around to raise the kids. He’ll most likely leave her or cheat on her.
They want a guy who’s just a little bit out of her league, enough so that it’s a win for her and there’s a good chance that he’ll stick around later.
A girl who’s a 7 doesn’t want a guy who’s a 10. She’d feel too insecure around him, and the guy would be too unattainable. She would rather have a guy who’s at her level or slightly above.
If you approach a girl that’s a 6 with a behavior that in her mind rates you as 7, then she’s going to love you for it. She might even compliment you for your behaviors.
But if you use the same behaviors that level you at a 7 with a girl that’s a 9 or 10, she’ll be disinterested because it’s not a win for her in any way.
She’ll realize your worth is less than hers and that she can do better. And that’s why most guys eventually hit a plateau in game.
The very same thing that worked once for you with one type of girl is the exact same thing that’s messing up your game and keeping you from leveling up to the higher quality girls.
Leveling is a complicated topic, but it means that gimmicky lines and actions work well with girls of a certain caliber but not so much with girls of a higher caliber.
The thing is that the girls that respond to the gimmicky high-risk stuff would have ALSO responded to “solid” game in virtually all cases.
How do I Identify leveling behaviors?
It’s not easy, but you can start by asking yourself these questions.
- Am I putting up a persona?
- Am I being genuine?
- Am I being the same person that I’d be around good friends?
- Am I acting differently than when I’m with a girl who I know is coming home with me no matter what?
Analyze your behaviors against these questions and you’ll be able to identify your leveling behaviors.
Now that you’ve identified your leveling behaviors, how do you fix them? Here are some general ways to fix common leveling behaviors.
- Get your life together (finances, body, fashion, hygiene, looks, career).
- Improve your technical prowess when it comes to game so that you can learn how to smoothly navigate yourself through any interaction no matter how difficult.
- Learn how to be subtle with your game so that you can make the process positive and fun for girls.
When you improve in these three areas, you’ll be able to break through plateaus easier because you won’t rely on gimmicky behaviors to attract women.
The Dos and Don’ts of Good Game
By now, you know that being merely liked sucks big time.
So here’s a quick list of the Dos and Don’ts when it comes to good game so that women never simply like you but crave you instead:
Don’t just be nice.
Don’t play it safe.
Don’t play to not lose.
Don’t be desperate around women.
Don’t act needy.
Don’t act low-value.
Don’t be her doormat.
Don’t use gimmicky behaviors.
Do lead the interaction.
Do show resilience and strength.
Do have fun.
Do take risks.
Do show your personality.
Do be genuine.
Do take a stand.
It’s a very simplified list, but keep it in mind when you’re out there playing the game!
The Next Step: Make Women Feel Uncontrollable Attraction Towards You
That dream that you have about having the women you like obsessed with you isn’t just a silly fantasy. It’s a completely achievable reality.
Learning game is hard at first. But with knowledge, persistence, and guidance, you can have a life of unimaginable abundance when it comes to women.
You’ll wake up one day and realize you no longer have to ask the question “How do I get a girl to like me?” because the solution will already be innate in your system.
The girl you’ve been fantasizing about is no longer a dream but rather the girl you’re now sharing your bed with.