Here’s something you might not know about me: I first learned to game by going out SOLO. Ie. By myself
When I was 18 years old, I spent three years doing daygame all by myself.
Even when I started going to bars and nightclubs, I did get a couple of wingmen along the way at first, but always felt that going out solo was weirdly more enjoyable.
There are certain skills you learn going out solo that you will never learn if you’re going out with a wing man.
Group Theory in Da Club
With a wingman, you can spend the whole night looking for two sets.
When you go out by yourself, you essentially HAVE to learn to approach and manage groups of different sizes. The alternative is waiting for a woman to be alone making you look like the “stand around creepy guy”.
For the record, if you do see a woman alone, by all means, approach her, but assume that she is not alone.
At night, the vast majority of the time she isn’t alone, her friends are around somewhere.
Building Self-Reliance
Solo game teaches you to be self-reliant. It’s good for the soul. And frankly, it grows confidence like nothing else.
No one cares if you approach or not. Except you of course.
If you keep at it, you will learn to stay motivated without any prodding or pushing from a wingman.
Going out solo also really helps build that permanent confidence to approach girls literally anywhere, with zero “state” or “momentum”. Concepts that I personally think lead a lot of guys into inaction and rationalizing bad game.
You see a girl. You approach. It’s all you. And the satisfaction that comes from that is pretty exhilirating.
You learn to “just do it” and eventually it gets easier and easier.
Venues and Gameplan
There are guys that think that staying in one venue will make them look weird.
So they think it is a good idea to venue hop. This isn’t a smart approach for a number of reasons.
Even if you bounce around from venue to venue, you can still be “that awkward guy” if you’re not social.
You stop being that guy by socializing with EVERYONE. Yep, everyone.
Here’s a couple of pointers:
- Start a conversation with the bouncer as he checks your ID
- If you are ordering a drink, talk to the bartender while you do so
- Waiting in line in the bathroom? Start conversations with people on the line
Talk to everyone. Not just the girls you find attractive.
Most guys that game spend massive amounts of time without socializing in the club and then are relegated to doing awkward, forced approaches that are bound to fail.
To recap: Be a social person throughout your night. Not just the approaches.
It will help your game. And it will also help with your level of comfort within the club/bar.
Dealing With Solo Game Shit Tests
Very often, girls might give you the very common “why are you alone” shit test.
Don’t freak out, this is a pretty rational thing to ask since most people don’t go out to clubs or bars alone.
You have a couple options: “I lost my friend”, “my friend left early”, or you can be honest and say “I’m here alone cause fuck it.”
The last answer can be a segue to discussing your cool lifestyle that is full of travel and adventure and fun. It can help you build value and even make you stand out.
As with many things in game, as long as you are comfortable and confident, you can very often turn any situation into a positive.
Downsides of Solo Game
Pulling women in two sets is harder to do when you are solo gaming. Harder, but of course, not impossible.
However, you can paradoxically pull from a larger group much easier.
A major positive, especially for advanced guys, is you do not have the liability of being dragged down by a bad wingman.
A major negative, if you’re someone that doesn’t take action, is no one is going to push you into doing anything.
A major part of Immersion is getting pushed into sets you otherwise wouldn’t be approaching. But as the program goes on, the main goal turns to teaching self-reliance. Ie. Taking the training wheels off. Because in the real world, you won’t have me nudging you to talk to the hottest girl in the club.
Going out solo is how you take the training wheels off all on your own.
Solo Game For Your Soul
Solo game is good for your soul.
It gives you the skills to be in any city in the world and walk into a bar/club/street/starbucks and leave with a potential girlfriend in the making that very same day or night.
When you first start solo gaming or even learning game, you may not bring a lot of women home initially, but you can get tons of numbers.
And here’s the thing about numbers, even if you’re a newbie, not all of them will flake.
If you follow up with enough of them, you will achieve success.
When I learned solo game years ago, I was able to sleep with some 60 girls before I ever had a same-night one-night-stand from night game. Again, that was solely from getting numbers, following up, and going on a ton of dates.
I learned how to pull from dates long before I learned how to pull from clubs.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As you can see, there is a lot of value in going out alone for many reasons. I highly encourage you to try it for yourself.
It’s good for the soul, it builds confidence, it’s good for your game and it is great for your results as well.
Yes, it might be a little “harder” at first, but the rewards can be massive.
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