How to Not Be Creepy

by | Dec 28, 2018 | General, Inner Game, Strategy & Philosophy

So this is probably a long overdue blog post. Not being creepy is a major fear of pretty much most guys.

It’s a major reason why the average guy very rarely (if ever) has the balls to approach a girl he likes.

But what is creepy anyway?

And what can you do to eliminate the creepiness factor completely?

Here’s the simple truth about creepiness:

It’s the approach that determines if you’re coming off creepy or not.

And let’s go even deeper…

The vast majority of creepy approaches come off as creepy because they have an AGENDA behind them.

Coming from the frame of ‘take, take, take’, is creepy and needy. Women hate it. Especially when you’re trying to hide it.

Thing is girls can sniff out an agenda from a mile away. It reeks more than body odor.

So what to do instead?

How to Not Be Creepy – The Ultimate Reframe to Kill Creepiness


One of the beautiful things about being able to cold approach women is that you can meet any girl, anywhere, anytime (in the daytime, at a bar, online).

Therefore, you don’t need anything from just one particular girl, because there are so many options to find what girl you are compatible with, it puts you in the buying frame.

You’re the one that’s doing the selecting.

That way, you don’t need to waste energy on proving to the girl that you’re the shit and being try-hard (which is creepy).

Instead, your frame is ‘I want to find out if this girl and I have chemistry together’. 

Now, you’re talking to her as a human being to see what she’s like as a person. You’re seeing if you are compatible with each other. You’re not trying to rush or convince. The neediness is gone. And so is the creepiness.

This is a major fix that I make with my students, even though it’s not always so easy to implement for guys that are used to making needy approaches.

How to Not Be Creepy – Don’t Insult Girls for Negative Reactions

So here’s the paradox: Guys who do not already have the abundance frame, but are trying to fake being non-needy… also come across as creepy!

Sucks huh.

For example, guys who are overly trying to be negative and edgy, and maybe try a stereotypically misapplied ‘neg’, also come off as creepy.

Some even straight out insult the girl, and SHOCKINGLY that never really works.

You went over to talk to the girl, but you’re being nasty and malicious? How does that make sense?

It doesn’t make sense, and girls can smell agenda and bad intentions emanating from you.

It’s a little disingenuous to go out of your way just to tell a girl how shitty she is.

So here’s my solution, and how I approach every girl (as evidenced by the hours of infield video both on my youtube channel and in The System).

You want to approach with a positive expectation of the girl and the interaction – but because you have an abundance of options, you’re not completely sold right off the bat.

You’re testing the waters to see what she’s about.

You want to assume that you’re a 10 to her. That your very presence in her life could bring her massive value and unforgettable experiences.

But she hasn’t won the prize just yet.

Think of it this way: If you were to potentially give a girl a check for $100,000, would you be nervous about her rejecting you?

Of course not. You’re giving her $100,000! 

Well, by giving her the opportunity of meeting you, you’re potentially bringing her into your awesome lifestyle, sharing unforgettable experiences with her, having her enjoy your personality, good sex etc. You’ve got an amazing value proposition there.

Now I know what you’re thinking…

Be aware that it may take a girl some amount of time to realize your full value proposition.

This is what good game is actually all about: Conveying your immense value proposition in a brief amount of time.

How to Not Be Creepy – Be Socially Calibrated

Another way guys can come off as creepy is by being socially uncalibrated in situations where it is awkward or embarrassing for the girl.

Therefore, when you’re meeting girls, always be aware of the surroundings and the social context of a situation. For example, if a girl is at a quiet library studying, and is surrounded by lots of people, then an over-the-top approach that makes everybody stare is a terrible way to start the conversation.

The whole big scene, over-the-top, ‘self amuse’ type of game, is what I call ‘flash game’ and looks good on camera but doesn’t work in real life.

Always be empathic and aware of the girl’s experience. Remember, the interaction is comprised of two people, and if the interaction is going to be a positive experience for you, then that takes investment from her too.

Even if you’re just starting out, always calibrate to what’s going on around you.

That’s simply called social intelligence.

– Todd

PS. Wanna learn my complete method for meeting women in a calibrated, methodical, non-creepy, non-needy way?

Not to mention see that method actually put to use with girl after girl?

Click here to get my entire System for yourself today

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