As crazy as this may sound, I wish I still had approach anxiety.
I still remember starting out in game nearly 18 years ago. Each time I did an approach my heart would beat a bit faster, time would slow down, and my head would swirl with a whirlwind of thoughts and possibilities… each approach was a little scar… I mean EXCITING.
That’s right. I said exciting, not scary. Though a lot of people mistake one for the other.
Is riding a roller coaster scary, or exciting…?
Is applying for your dream job scary, or exciting…?
Is playing in a championship game scary, or exciting…?
If you answered scary to all of the above, you need to do some soul searching. All of these, but in particular the dream interview and the championship game, are positions you WANT to be in, and have possibly worked your whole life to be in.
If you can’t find fun and excitement in these, what are you doing with your life? Worse still… if you’re scared of these, you probably won’t even find yourself in these positions. If you’re scared of a tough interview, you might not even apply for your dream job. If you’re scared of the pressure of the big game, you might not even go out for the team, or you might find a convenient way to lose at an earlier stage.
Winners get excited by these moments and consider them OPPORTUNITES rather than risks.
If you lose in the championship game, or you miss out on that dream job, it hurts. But it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as not knowing, or not trying, would.
Approaching women is exactly the same. Each time you approach you have the possibility to make your life meaningfully better. And there is basically no downside. You might be embarrassed for a very few seconds, that’s about it.
I learned this early on with a few lucky successes and I’ve been addicted to the excitement of approaching ever since.
However, as with most addictions, you need more and more to give you that same rush. So that pure exhilaration I used to feel with every scar… exciting approach, I now only feel very rarely… and when I do feel it, the approach almost invariably goes well because I feel so alive and my senses are so sharp.
Now I just see the girls and approach them out of desire, or habit, or because it’s the right thing to do. That beginner’s rush is gone… and I miss it.
I envy you that simple bliss that was so available to me in my early days of doing cold approaches.
Don’t feel too sorry for me though… I have lots of great and exciting things to replace it… like love and relationships with hot amazing women, and like pushing the envelope of what’s possible in social interactions. And I still get viscerally excited in a lot of interactions as well… but it comes later… more towards the close than the open. Another phase of game that scares many guys, but should excite them.