LIVE DEBRIEF AND Q+A — 11/19/23
(7:27) I notice you say this line a lot; “you have an expressive look”. Were you trying to instigate?
(8:45) I’m better at getting the girl to chase me and being more patient for her to escalate, but now I’m not leading as much which can feel like following. Thoughts?
(9:45) What to do with girls who open up very confused? “Wait, what? Are you talking to me? Are you like hitting on me or do you need something? I don’t understand”
(10:47) In a relationship, how might you get your girl to change her appearance through diet, exercise, fashion, makeup, or potentially even plastic surgery?
(12:34) You recently used the phrase “good tension, not bad tension” – what do you see as distinguishing features between good and bad tension?
(13:47) I’ve gotten consistent going from online match to phone#, but the phone-to-date ratio hasn’t been great. What do you typically do over SMS coming from online?
(15:13) If I sprinkle “I love; I hate” in conversation, does it make the interaction more impactful? Anything else to add without teasing too much?
(16:33) (Live follow-up question)
(18:58) Are Badoo and Plenty of Fish good dating apps?
(21:15) What are your views or experiences on online dating photos being taken from a professional camera versus an iPhone?
Should I ask my professional photographer next weekend to get some shots that don’t look as professional? On YouTube one dating coach recommends that all of your online dating photos be taken with an iPhone, so they look more real/believable.
Another coach or dating app photographer suggested having most photos by a professional camera, and a couple by an iPhone for similar reasons.
Or using different filters/editing styles so different photos have a different style/feel to them.
And so it doesn’t look too good/polished that a girl’s response is ‘What’s the catch?’
(23:39) How to provide photos and videos to girls in social settings without being a provider?
(24:00) When I get the number of a girl, I feel like I’m competing with guys I even don’t know to have sex with her. Then I feel the pressure to be better than others when texting or interacting with the girls, how to handle this?
(28:47) What’s the best online dating platform for someone in their 50’s?
(30:30) I’m pale with black hair would you recommend dying your hair?
(31:04) Getting good results from online dating, don’t want to neglect life too much. What should I do?
(32:10) Checking the mentorship web, you mentioned sometimes the provider vs lover, can you elaborate a bit on that?
(33:30) How to deal with other guys trying to bring you down in a set? Appreciate it more if you have verbal exercises for this.
(34:00) Is it a good idea to go out on a date on Thanksgiving day?
(35:30) How do you identify shit tests vs serious statements? E.g. what if a girl tells you things like “I’m not interested.”
(36:10) How should you approach girls who move in a group with friends through the night club? I usually get an initial reaction, but then they have to follow up with their friends. Is the open too weak or should you look for easier circumstances to approach (e.g. girls standing at a bar)?
(38:13) What would you say to someone with approach anxiety who thinks a cold approach is awkward – and how to solve that approach anxiety?
(39:47) (Live follow-up question)
(4822) Hinge banned me with no explanation, what do I do? I think I might have been swiping too much.
(49:27) (Live follow-up question)
(52:33) What advice do you have to shift from a work mindset to a social mindset, especially when you do some Daygame approaches in the evening after an intense work day?
(54:06) I remember playing the social police dealing with insults, what are the other techniques to come off as a highly valuable, socially calibrated cool guy?
(54:42) I often go to model and photographer meetups to take photos of models. I can easily get contacts, but they just expect me to give them photos taken for them. Not so much of a romantic interest. Just a “photo provider”. So how can I make them more invested, and more interested in me as a person?
(58:14) How do you keep a state of negative reactions?
(1:01:10) Can you give any examples of openers where you tease the girl in the open? I feel the direct openers (you are cute, gorgeous, etc.) have a lower opening rate in the nightclub as all guys say the same. Would it make sense to tease on the open to stand out more?
(1:02:38) Does James V have any other infields to watch aside from the one on your Youtube channel? His relaxed, chilled-out, well-calibrated style was great to learn from.
(1:03:12) I work on a solo indie video game project and I work as a nurse in an emergency service in a hospital to fund my project How would you present that to a girl in the highest value way possible?
(1:04:20) When on hinge dates with women in their mid-20s, I have experienced moments when they tell me they are interested in a long-term relationship. On day two or three they have escalated the interaction emotionally and I am not on the same page. What do you suggest I do in these instances to frame the interaction?
(1:07:58) Is there a way to misinterpret ‘I just had drinks with my friends’?
(1:09:02) How would you define “being your best” in dealing with aa?
(1:11:02) Can we do a misinterpretation exercise? I’ve been practicing and I want to see what I’ve got.
(1:11:33) I made plans with a Girl for today but we havent spoken since Thursday. What should I send to her today?
(1:12:39) (Live follow-up question)
(1:15:25) How do you practice staying in day game conversations longer? I realized I sometimes reject myself because I run out of things to say/think I’m not man-to-woman enough / etc.
(1:18:13) Had 4 dates this week and only closed on 1 of them. Should you be closing the first date every time? Do you always need to pull back during the first kiss or if you feel it’s on go for it all on the first kiss?
(1:20:04) I have a friend who is a girl and wants to go out to meet people with me in NYC. Broadly speaking, what advice do you have for winging a woman and for a woman winging me? Also if there are any venues you recommend. Thanks!
(1:23:44) In summer I can do some work time in the park, and approach girls when they happen to be around. Do you have similar places to recommend on winter days?
(1:25:24) What are the winner game approach anxiety missions?
(1:26:01) Let me reformulate my question on insults. What I was trying to say was: Do you have techniques for insults thrown at you like you passing a shit test?
(1:27:30) You mentioned All Saints brand is not good anymore. Why? Any other brand you recommend?
(1:29:24) How would you approach in a loud venue and it’s a bunch of group sets?
(1:31:42) Next Call