So you’re getting numbers from cold approach or matches on Tinder, but you’re constantly struggling to get dates? Well, guess what? Your texting’s weak.
Weak texting is an infectious disease to your interactions, and if you don’t find the antidote your dating and sex life will forever be at fatal risk.
Luckily for you, the antidote is here. Today I’m going to share with you 3 fundamental principles to use when texting so that she views you as high value and wants to see you again.
So without further ado, let’s look at these 3 Principles:
1. Use Negative Polarity
The amount of times I see people not doing any of this is starting to become painful. I feel like a broken record when I talk about it. Please, stop being so fucking agreeable.
Negative polarity is the broad category that covers responses like teases, challenges, push-aways, disagreeing, disqualifying, etc.
Just like an in-person interaction, if it’s all positive positive positive, agree agree agree it becomes BORING. Especially in the beginning. Not only that, but it can appear as though you’re being supplicating, which is an inherently low value behavior.
You don’t have to use some in-depth elaborative tease, think more of a subtle push-away. Subtlety can work wonders here. Messages like:
– “Lol, that’s pretty random…”
– “Oh how crazy of you”
– “Wtf, really?”
– “Was definitely not expecting you to say that lol”
Cocky and entitled is the mindset you’re coming from. You’re not trying to drop an atomic bomb on the interaction or destroy the girl’s soul. Just enough to take you out of the nice and platonic category. Enough to stop being viewed as a “nice guy”.
2. Correct Investment Ratio
Look at the length of your responses and compare them to hers. Are they longer? If so, shorten them.
The days of long, elaborative messages are over. People’s attention span is getting shorter and shorter, especially thanks to social media, so why make it harder for yourself?
It’s common for guys to get confused, thinking they need long and detailed responses from the girl for it to be going well. This is not the case.
There’s no problem with short responses. The problem comes when you start sending longer messages hoping she’ll reciprocate, but instead come across like you’re needy and chasing.
This is what happens when the investment ratio is off. So how do you fix this? Shorten your damn messages.
By shortening your messages you come across cockier, more aloof and less invested. Even if that means ignoring one or more threads in the conversation. This is far better than clinging onto every topic hoping that it doesn’t fizzle out.
If you match her investment and in some cases invest less than her you can automatically create the dynamic that she’s putting in more effort than you. You automatically flip the script.
So when you write out your messages, look at ways to shorten them. Which words or sentences can you remove? In most cases, you can portray a similar message with fewer words. So learn to trim the fat from your responses.
3. Eliminate Low-Value Mistakes
One of the top reasons guys aren’t viewed as high value over text is because of low value mistakes. Even if they ran a solid interaction or have a solid online dating profile, if the messages reek of low value then the interaction will crash and burn.
This is normally the reason why a girl can be responsive at first, but then slowly start to respond less and less, until she eventually stops responding. She thought you were cool, but your low-value mistakes proved otherwise.
NOT doing the wrong thing is just as important as doing the right thing. So when you’re writing out your responses scan over them and then ask yourself the following questions:
1. Am I chasing her?
2. Am I over-validating her?
3. Am I being too gamey?
4. Am I being too agreeable?
5. Am I qualifying myself?
6. Am I being supplicating towards her?
If the answer to any of these is yes, then re-write the message in a better way, or send something different. The more you eliminate low value mistakes the more assumed value you’ll generate.
So there you have it. If you’re not using any of the above in your texting, then please start.
Treat these 3 principles as general guidelines to follow, especially in the beginning of the conversation. Once it’s clear she’s interested and sees you as high value, qualifying and closing will typically be your next steps.
If you’re unsure about qualifying I covered it in my previous article which you can find here:
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