The No B.S. Guide: How to Get a Girl to Like You

by | Feb 15, 2019 | General, Inner Game, Strategy & Philosophy

Before we dive into the subject of getting a girl to like you, let’s start with a little brutal truth, shall we?

If you’re spending a ton of time wondering how to get girls to simply LIKE you, you’re probably focusing on the wrong thing.

Because if a girl only likes you, she’ll be polite to you, she’ll be nice to you (maybe), she’ll put you in the friend zone, and she will not sleep with you.


Ain’t going to happen.

And if she doesn’t sleep with you,(or even see you as a potential sexual prospect), you’ll never have a chance at anything even resembling a relationship with her.

Here’s the bottom line:

The actions you take to make a girl like you are completely opposite to the actions you need to take to make her deeply attracted to you.

Um, You Sure You Want to Be “Liked”?

Let me ask you a question…

Do you want the 9s and 10s? Or the 5’s and 6’s?

Kind of a “duh” question, but here’s the thing…

Attractive girls have lots and lots of choices, and they’re not daydreaming about the “average nice guy” just like you’re not dreaming about the 5’s and 6’s.

Hot girls know they can do better.

Your goal shouldn’t be for a girl to simply see you as the average nice guy that she “likes”.

Your goal should be to make her intensely attracted to you.
She has to see you as a 9 or a 10, and not just a “nice guy” 5 or 6

So stop wondering how to get your crush to like you, and read on to figure out how to get the girl you like to truly want you …

Average “Nice” Guys Finish Last (And Why Attractive Women Don’t Sleep With Them)

Nice guys are fakes.

There, I said it.

In fact, nice guys are usually anything but NICE.

Your “nice guy” attitude is just a coping mechanism for reality being just too harsh.

You’re nice because you can’t get away with not being nice.

When you’re nice you are nothing but a doormat to women.

And women, especially hot ones, can spot a fake nice guy from miles away.

By being nice you show her that you’ve gotten bad social reactions in the past from not being nice and that you’re not strong enough to deal with the social blowback. So the only option left for you is to act nicely so you don’t get picked on or abused.

You’re basically saying to women that you’re a beta male that’s too afraid to be polarizing.

A guy that’s too afraid to say what he really thinks.

Not to mention be who he really is.

And let’s be honest here.

Do you really just want to be friends with the 10?

Of course not.

You want to sleep with her, admit it.

And you’re not going to get any closer to that by being a nice guy and by wondering how to make a girl “like” you.

Girls don’t see nice guys as sexual partners, they don’t sleep with guys that they just like.


Many girls absolutely HATE nice guys (especially the 9s and 10s) because that’s what most men are to them.

Those same girls can see straight through that “nice guy” facade and it sickens them.

So they want something different, they crave a ballsy, unique, high value guy that can spark their emotions and make them FEEL things.

A little evolutionary psychology for you…

Women have evolved to look for traits that will ensure the survival of their offspring (even if you’re not literally having babies together just yet).

When you’re just nice you’re not displaying any of the traits or behaviors of a man that would, evolutionarily speaking, benefit her and her offspring.

You’re being insincere about your true intentions, and that tells her that you don’t have the balls to go after what you want.

You’re trying to sneak your way into her panties, which is a very low-value position.

So stop wondering how to make a girl like you and start asking yourself how to make her CRAVE you instead.

Now that you know that being just “liked” will lead to nothing but platonic and mediocre relationships, let’s talk about the traits and behaviors that you need to display so that you can learn how to make a girl truly want you.

The Controversial Truth About What Makes a Man Attractive

Okay, so what makes a man attractive to hot women?

Ready to hear an answer you’ve never heard before?

To get a girl attracted to you, you need to do things that might potentially make her hate you.

I know it might sound contradictory, but here’s the thing…

There are certain personality traits that make women feel intense attraction, and if you want to learn how to get your crush to love you, you better start to display some of these traits and behaviors.

Let me explain.

Women madly love men who take risks, who are resilient, strong, and decisive. They love men who are leaders. These are the traits of alpha males.

And there are three specific traits that make a man attractive for women

#1 – An attractive man takes risks:

Attractive alpha males play to win, and when you play to win you will have to take some risks.


To get the girl to want you, maybe even chase you, you will have to risk losing her as well.

There’s no middle ground.

Those same actions and behaviors that might lead to a girl hating you, can also spark an uncontrollable attraction towards you, and she’ll end up loving you, head over heels obsessed with you, and waking up next to you after a hot steamy night together.

The fact that you take risks tells her that you’ve gotten good social feedback out of those actions in the past, and even if you’ve gotten rejection it says that you are strong enough to handle it.

And those are behaviors of a high-value man, those are the traits that show her that you’re the alpha male that she wants.

#2 – An attractive man is resilient and strong:

Women are biologically attracted to strong and resilient men.


Because, biologically speaking, any woman needs to make sure that her offspring will get the best possible genes, even if you’re not going to have babies with her, it’s in their biology to be sexually attracted to these traits.

Thousands of years ago, humans lived in very harsh conditions, and only the strongest and most resilient ones survived, that’s why women will love you when you display strength and resilience.

If a woman mated with the best hunter in the tribe, she knew she’d always had food and protection. Which dramatically increased her and her children’s chances of survival.

On the other hand, mating with the nice guy of the tribe didn’t make things any better for her or her children. And that’s why women don’t sleep with nice guys, it goes against their biology.

Let me ask you something…

If you had to pick sides on a fight, would you go with the strong and resilient one? Or would you side with the lame, meek nice guy who never takes risks?

I thought so, and women are the same.

They want a guy who can protect them and lead them to survival and even prosperity.

Which leads me to my next point.

#3 – An attractive man is a leader:

Historically, being an alpha male meant that you were a leader of a tribe.

And the best way for women to make sure that their offspring would get the highest quality genes was by mating with the leaders.

If you want girls who stand out (the 9s and the10s), you have to stand out yourself. And you do that by displaying the behaviors and traits explained above.

Most importantly, you must assertively lead the interaction without any hesitation.

Because that’s how leaders behave. And women are crazy about men that can lead.

So now that you know how to make a girl want you, and the behaviors and traits that women feel attraction towards, let’s talk about the mindset you need to have so that you get girls to LOVE you.

And not just girls in general, but the girl you actually want.

How To Get The Girl You Want (Start With Your Mindset)

What do women want?

A question that men have asked since the dawn of well, man.

And here’s the answer:

Women want both the man with the best possible genes and the man who will stick around and raise their kids.

And they’re not necessarily the same person!

It’s a little confusing, right
Well, here’s the good news

When she’s thinking about sex, she doesn’t care much about whether you’ll stick around to raise kids, she’s mostly looking for the behaviors and traits of an alpha male, the ones mentioned above.

So when you first approach a girl, your mindset should never be:

“How do I get her to like me?”

Because if that’s your mindset, you’re going to play it safe, you’re not going to take any risks, and when you do that, the interaction will end with either her saying:

“Well, it was nice meeting you! Later.”

Or you’ll end up getting friend-zoned. A shoulder she cries on while she sleeps with a guy she perceives as being a true alpha male.

Besides, you already know that the goal is not to be liked. We’ve established this.

The goal is to knock her socks off, the goal is to be amazing, the goal is to play to win, rather than to play to not lose.

And you do that by displaying the behaviors mentioned above.

What To Talk About With A Girl – Verbal Game

Alright, so now that you know the behaviors and traits that make a man attractive and the mindset you need in order to attract women, and not just be liked, let’s get a bit more tactical…

You already know you need to take risks, to be strong and resilient, and to lead the interaction.

But how do you actually do that in real life?

By ESCALATING the interaction

There are four ways to escalate:

  • You can escalate physically.
  • You can escalate to more intimate venues.
  • You can change the way you address the relationship (Using we instead of you and I).
  • You can escalate the conversation by making it more intimate and sexual.

Right now, I’m going to focus on the last one because once a conversation becomes intimate and sexual, it’ll be way easier for you to escalate in all the other ways.

Get this:

Humans think in associations.

There’s an old phrase that says: “Sex, drugs, and rock & roll”.

That phrase is a great representation of associations because it mentions three things that are completely unrelated, but are subsets of the same cultural initiative.

They’re all edgy, they’re outside of the “proper,” and a bit taboo.

Back in the 60’s, people that had a lot of sex tended to do drugs and listen to rock & roll.

So how can you use this to your advantage?

Easy, talk about subtle, sexually tangential topics like:

  • Tattoos
  • Piercings
  • Partying
  • Drinking
  • Crazy experiences
  • Travel
  • Etc.

Anything that gets the girl in a fun, crazy, playful, naughty and adventurous mood works.

I know what you’re thinking now…

“How do I smoothly introduce these topics into a conversation?”

Here are two easy ways to turn any mundane conversations into into one that will get the girl aroused: The Questions Game, and Using Quotes.

#1 – Use The Questions Game To Spark Attraction

A really easy way to steer any conversation into sexy/risque topics is with the “Questions Game”.

The questions game is an old and simple routine that still works very well.

Here’s how it goes:

You ask her a question and she has to honestly answer it. Then you switch. She asks YOU a question and YOU have to honestly answer it.

What’s brilliant about it is that you get to select one of those edgy non-sexual/sexual topics.

For example, you can ask her:

  • Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
  • How old were you when you had your first drink/kiss?
  • What is the most trouble you got into in high school?
  • What’s the craziest thing you’ve done in the past year?

Basically asking anything that’s a little bit naughty, but not sexually explicit works.

And the best part is:

You’re going to get her talking about naughty topics.

And if she’s enjoying the interaction she’s going to ask you questions that are even more intimate and sexual.

Every time that happens you’ll get the chance to take it a step further, and little by little you’ll be explicitly talking about sex.

Once the girl starts talking about sex, then it will be a lot easier to escalate the interaction in all the other ways (moving to an intimate venue, getting physical, and using “we” to talk about you and her).

#2 – Use Quotes To Play It Safer And Still Turn Her On

For some of you it might be scary to bring up a sexual topic, even with the questions game.

“But what if she doesn’t like me?”

Look I get it, you’re nervous and you’re afraid she might think you’re a weirdo, but as you know already, it’s your responsibility to lead the interaction forward and escalate it towards sex.

You don’t want to be liked, you want to be loved, remember?

A very simple, non-risky way to talk about sexy topics is by using quotes from other people.

That way you’re distancing yourself from the topic but it’s still in the conversation.

For example:

You can say that you read a study that said that frequent travelers are more open minded when it comes to casual relationships than people who don’t travel (I just made this up btw)

It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s not risky, and it can bring some naughtiness/playfulness into the conversation. And if she gets offended, it’s not really your opinion, it’s just something you read from someone else.

Alright, so now that you know the behaviors and traits of attractive men and how to escalate conversations, let’s talk about how women judge you as a man…

Understanding How Women Rate Your Value

Women rate you just you like rate them, but unlike guys who only care about physical appearance, they take into account many other things.

When a woman is evaluating you on a scale from 1-10, she’s taking into account your behavior, your body language, your social feedback, and your status in society.

Which brings me to one of the most important concepts when it comes to game…

A concept I call Leveling.

Just like men rate women on a scale of 1-10 (admit it), women can level you based on how you behave, how you speak, and how you act.

When she’s leveling you, she’s assessing how good of an option you’d be for raising her offspring in the environment in which we evolved.

But here’s the tricky part…

Girls don’t necessarily want the highest value guy, because if he’s too out of her league then she knows he’ll never stick around to raise the kids. He’ll most likely leave her or cheat on her.

They want a guy who’s just a little bit out of her league, enough so that it’s a win for her and there’s a good chance that he’ll stick around later.

A girl who’s a 7 doesn’t want a guy who’s a 10, she’d be too scared and intimidated, but would be really happy with a guy who’s an 8.

Let me elaborate…

If you direct approach a girl that’s a 6 with a behavior that in her mind rates you as 7, then she’s going to love you for it, and she might even compliment you for how you acted.

But if you use that same opener (that says that you’re a 7) with a girl that’s a 9 or 10, she’ll be disinterested because it’s not a win for her in any way. She’ll know that your value is lower than hers and that she can do better.

And that’s why learning game is so darn confusing sometimes.

The very same thing that worked once for you with one type of girl is the exact same thing that’s messing up your game and keeping you from leveling up to the higher quality girls.

And that’s why most guys eventually hit a plateau in game.

Leveling is a complicated topic, but it basically means that gimmicky lines and actions tend to work well with girls of a certain caliber but not so much with girls of a higher caliber.

The thing is that the girls that respond to the gimmicky high-risk stuff would have ALSO responded to “solid” game in virtually all cases.

That means you don’t really need to use gimmicky lines and behaviors.

So how do you identify the leveling behaviors that are stopping you from taking your game to next level?

Well. It’s not easy…

In general, leveling behaviors will tend to be gimmicky, and here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself to identify them:

  • Am I putting up a persona?
  • Am I being genuine?
  • Am I being the same person that I’d be around good friends?
  • Am I acting differently than when I’m with a girl who I know is coming home with me no matter what?

Analyze your behaviors against these questions and you’ll be able to identify your leveling behaviors.

And if you identify a leveling behavior, and it is working for you, by all means, keep using it until it stops working. But try and look for alternatives that are true to your personality.

So what’s the solution to fixing your behaviors that are keeping you from leveling up your game?

There are three ways to fix leveling:

  1. Getting your life together (finances, body, fashion, hygiene, looks, career).
  2. Improve your technical prowess when it comes to game so that you can learn how to smoothly navigate yourself through any interaction no matter how difficult.
  3. Learn how to be subtle so that you can make the process positive and fun for girls.

When you improve in these three areas, you’ll be able to break through plateaus easier because you won’t rely on gimmicky behaviors to attract women.

You’ll be able to create attraction simply by displaying your personality in an attractive, calibrated way.

How To Be More Than Liked – The Dos and Don’t of Good Game)

By now you know that being merely liked SUCKS.

So here’s a quick list of the Dos and Don’ts when it comes to good game so that girls never MERELY like you but LOVE you instead:


Don’t just be nice.

Don’t play it safe.

Don’t play to not lose.

Don’t be desperate around women.

Don’t act needy.

Don’t act low-value.
Don’t be her doormat.

Don’t use gimmicky behaviors.


Do lead the interaction.

Do show resilience and strength.

Do escalate.

Do have fun.

Do take risks.

Do show your personality.

Do be genuine.

Do take a stand.

It’s a very simplified list, but keep it in mind when you’re out there playing the game!

The Next Step: Make Women Feel Uncontrollable Attraction Towards You


That dream that you have about being liked and loved by women isn’t just a silly fantasy.

It’s a completely achievable reality.

Sure, it’s not as easy as we’d all like it to be. Learning game is hard at first. But with knowledge, persistence, and guidance you can definitely do it.

You can have a life of unimaginable abundance when it comes to women.

But, you need to start displaying the traits that make a man attractive.

So stop wondering how to get a girl to like you.

And start behaving like the man that women crave.

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