The No-Nonsense Reality: What kind of MAN Do Women Really Want?

by | Oct 12, 2020 | General

Women communicate with mixed signals.

They say one thing and mean the opposite.

Most guys behave based on what they THINK women want.

They’re usually wrong.

In reality, these cheap and tacky behaviors ooze low value.

They show women you just don’t get it.

Having spent two decades decoding female communication and psychology, I’ve developed a much more effective model for knowing what women TRULY desire.

They want…

Men of high value.

Men who act despite fear, lead with confidence, protect their own, take risks, and provide comfort.

These are the few men who get the women they want.

If you want to be one of those few, read on.


Have The Courage to Act

An unavoidable fact of game is that the vast majority of the time, YOU have to approach women and start the interaction.

Women simply aren’t going to do it for you.

Some girls are shy and want to avoid looking slutty, but there is a deeper reason as to why they don’t make the first move.

Women want men who have the courage to start a conversation.

If a man is able to conquer his natural approach anxiety, it is an honest signal of competence.

It shows that you are the master of your own emotions and are capable of going after what you want. It provides social proof that you have been in social situations before and have seen success.

The best part is, she sees this without you having to say a word.

And subtlety is the key to advanced game.

Without an approach, there is no interaction.

While approaching is a vital first step, it is just the tip of the iceberg.

Leaders: The Real Winners in Game

Any guy can walk up to a woman and say hi.

Far too often I coach guys who will start a conversation and just hope that the girl takes it from there.

“Oh hi! Wow, you’re awesome. Want to take me home?”

Yeah, not going to happen.

Women want the guy who can confidently LEAD an interaction.

Partly because women want to see if you CAN.

Asking her boring questions about her job is NOT leading. Instead, make a deliberate effort to TEASE and FLIRT.

Remember, a tease is a comment aimed at a particular person.

Let’s say you saw her dancing before you approached her. You could tease her by saying, “Those are some interesting moves, you remind me of those penguins in happy feet?”

A tease becomes a flirt when it’s directed toward a relationship.

“We can dance, as long as you don’t step on my toes too much.”

Teases and flirts should be made playfully, not seriously.

Leading can also be logistical.

If you’re with a girl at a club or bar, you can ask her to come with you to the dancefloor or to grab a drink. Better yet, maybe she wants to check out a different venue entirely.

Lead in a way that is unique to you. If you hate dancing, don’t lead her to the dancefloor.

You should be congruent to her when you lead as well. For example, if she’s driving her friends home that night, you may end up going to her place rather than yours.

Be the leader you BOTH want.


Be a Protector

This one should be self-explanatory and is a MUST if you want to be attractive to women.

If legitimate danger threatens a girl, protect her.

If you don’t, she’ll find somebody who will.

Say you’re with a girl at a bar and a fight breaks out. If it’s on between you and her, place your arm around her while putting your body between her and the brawl. Then walk away.

This should be your natural instinct. Do it without her having to ask.

There is nuance here.

You don’t need to micromanage every little thing or bend over backward for her all night by any means.

Being too protective can come off as needy and make her lose attraction for you.

Take Risks

I often define game as a series of progressive risks.

If you’re not taking any risks in a relationship or interaction, you’re not the man she wants to be with.

You shouldn’t be afraid to tease in a way that might be offensive.

Don’t outwardly try to be offensive, but rather be your best self, uncensored.

Be willing to disagree with a girl occasionally. Supplicating to her opinions and frames is inherently unattractive and boring.

Most guys supplicate to her. Most guys are too afraid to take risks.

Don’t be most guys.

Women want a guy who is willing to break (certain) rules.

For example, say you’re on a date with a girl and you’re on the curb waiting to cross the street.

If there are no cars in sight but you don’t have the light, are you going to wait for the light to change or just cross?

I’d cross if I were you.

This may seem like a small distinction, but it speaks to a bigger personality trait – a willingness to assert yourself.

Lastly, be willing to take risks sexually.

This shows you’re comfortable with your sexuality and are an adventurous guy–two traits that women are specifically looking for in men.

Some girls are more conservative than others.

If a girl comes off as shy or quiet, boisterously making controversial statements probably isn’t going to be as effective.

Conversely, if you’re on the dancefloor with a high-energy free-spirit, you might do less standing in one place and talking during the interaction.

Taking risks will be most effective if  you do it in a way that matches her blueprint.


Be a Provider

Women want a man who is competent.

Someone who can take care of them both emotionally and financially.

I know, Kanye West’s “Gold Digger” just started playing in your head.

But that’s not what I mean.

If a partner is constantly asking you to buy her things and pay her bills, yes, that’s a problem.

On a smaller scale, be cognizant of women at bars and clubs who just use men to buy them drinks and get them into VIP areas.

That said, there’s an old saying in game that says, “Never buy a drink for a girl.”

That’s ridiculous.

You should absolutely buy a drink for a girl under certain circumstances – if she’s genuinely interested and not trying to use you.

Gold diggers aside, most women want a man who has done the necessary prerequisite work to earn some form of a living.

It provides proof that you are capable of working hard and providing value.

Sound familiar?

There are different kinds of providers, however. Not all of them are good.

Some men provide as a way of supplicating.

A man may constantly buy gifts for his girlfriend because he is afraid of losing her. He may be insecure and believes the latest piece of jewelry will fix that problem.

It won’t.

Don’t provide for a woman in an attempt to persuade her to overlook your flaws either.

If you’re afraid of losing her or are insecure about yourself, work on the causes of these issues instead of trying to fix them with gifts.

You want to give from the RIGHT PLACE.

If you’re in a relationship and you see something she likes and randomly buy it, you’re being the right type of provider.

In this instance, you’re giving out of natural affection, not insecurity.

Providing value also goes beyond your wallet.

It also means being a good teammate in your partner’s endeavors.

If somebody you’re with has a goal or ambition, you could get them a book or link them to a website or video that would help them.

It’s not a huge imposition but shows you care and are looking out for their interests.

Women want you to be able to take care of them. And you shouldn’t be afraid to “provide” for the right person.

But be certain of where it’s coming from.

Give if and when you WANT to, not because you feel like you have to.

Use this Blueprint and Match Her Blueprint

Different women have different tastes.

And many communicate these preferences in confusing, often contradictory ways.

Generally speaking though, if you work on yourself to become a man who acts despite fear, leads with confidence, protects his own, takes risks and provides comfort, you will have something to offer to any woman you encounter.

Now is the time to put in the work to become a desirable man… not after you’ve met her.

Talk soon,

-Todd V