Why Self-Amusement Is Making You Look Like a Weirdo
STOP BEING A WEIRDO
Self-amusement is the act of speaking or behaving in a way that amuses you. It sounds harmless, but a lot of guys in the pick-up community take this concept way too far.
Most men use self-amusement in their interactions with women and end up being creepy and repulsive.
They behave awkwardly, make weird jokes, and talk about random topics that stray away from a man-to-woman conversation.
Weirdo self-amusement is not only cringy but it also DOES NOT WORK.
Here’s the truth behind self-amusement.
Have you ever heard a girl compliment a guy for being “so self-amused”?
They may talk about other qualities or behaviors, but they do not talk about self-amusement as an attractive quality.
This is because self-amusement is not inherently attractive.
So, why is self-amusement talked about in the first place?
Self-amusement is a shortcut to help you avoid certain unattractive qualities because most men put women on a pedestal.
Most men fail shit-tests and supplicate to the girl.
They give in to a girl’s whims and buy her attention and affection.
They are consistently trying to prove themselves to the girl.
Self-amusement does help to eliminate these behaviors. But it’s not the ONLY way to eliminate these behaviors.
Just knowing about these bad behaviors is enough to avoid them.
THE REAL PROBLEM
In theory, self-amusement also helps you not run out of things to say.
However, running out of things to say is not the problem.
Running out of good things to say is the problem.
If you’re self-amusing to say dumb things, you’re almost better off not having anything to say.
There are a lot of better ways to practice having something to say.
For example, work on storytelling. Engage the girl and incorporate elements that make you high-value.
You can also use a canned line. If you’re out of things to say, use something that has worked for you before.
It’s a lot better than throwing the next clownish thing out there and hoping.
SELF-AMUSEMENT DONE THE RIGHT WAY
Self-amusement stems from the desire to be “at cause” rather than “at effect” in an interaction, since most men are largely reactive to women.
The idea behind self-amusement is “it doesn’t matter what you say as long as you’re amused.”
Self-amusement is valid in the sense that anything you say for fun or with conviction will be better than saying something to get a reaction. However, saying dumb shit is still saying dumb shit.
The girl is reacting to what you put out in the world and show her, not what’s going inside your head.
Self-amusement can help a beginner get from “I completely suck” to “I only sort of suck.”
But self-amusement without any structure, direction, or plan will lead to random, haphazard results.
This is what will prevent you from getting better.
If you’re an intermediate, then this should resonate with you. You get results sometimes, but they’re completely random and you have NO CONTROL over it.
In addition, random results are difficult to learn from.
Once you have a little structure and direction in your game, you can improve and learn.
If self-amusement is making you look ridiculous, it’s useless.
If self-amusement is self-deprecating or conveys you in a low-value way, you’re only damaging yourself.
The purpose of game is to convey yourself as a high-value guy. If self-amusement is causing you to convey yourself as a low-value guy, you’re acting against your own interests.
The main ideas from self-amusement are don’t supplicate, have a plan, and move things forward. If you learn to do this without self-amusement, you’ll be much better off.
Self-amusement is not the holy grail. Once again, it’s not inherently attractive.
Self-amusement is just a technique that takes you from shitty to less shitty. That’s it.
If you really want to improve, you need to actually understand your game and get regimented.
P.S. To learn more about the fundamentals of a man-to-woman interaction and adopting a proper structure to your game, check out the System by Todd.